Danzo's Journal Entries
by Kakashi Cartman
Summary: A series of oneshots based on Danzo's hobby, and his reflections on his choices and what not. Also it's my headcanon that Danzo was Sakumo's sensei.
1. Chapter 1

Late fall early winter was always his favorite time of year. That was always the time he felt most alive. At first it seemed to just give him a nostalgic feeling that somehow gave him six months of complete bliss. I guess around the time he finally hit puberty it became more to him.

He would run out of the house in the dark with his peers. I dismissed it as him trying to express his last remaining years as a kid. I guess I should've put two and two together that he was sneaking a smoke in the outskirts of the village.

During this time, and even after he said he had quit. He always liked sitting outside in the cold breathing in the air. The few times we took missions together he was always more active in the nocturnal cold.

He never told me why he enjoyed the time of year. Despite how close we were, I could never guess what made him so attached to the cold weather. Despite how pessimistic I can be, I like to think it was due to his upbringing.

A little farmer boy like him probably liked the harvest that came in during this season. That and he always seemed to enjoy being wrapped up in jackets, and scarves.

However considering his premature death, the season must've made him come alive. Feeling the oxygen in his lungs with every intake of breath. The tinglings in his limbs whenever he entered a heated room. The need to hide every inch of his body in material (to hide the scars as well). Must've reminded him he was still alive without having to endure the heat of summer, or having to witness everyone elses' happiness, that he just somehow couldn't find.

One of my biggest regrets is I contributed to his early death. I blame myself for his death, and the fact he couldn't be happy no matter how hard he tried.

To think I who promotes a shinobi's lack of emotions more then anyone else, regrets my students death that was brought on by his overactive emotions.

I think of him every year during this time. I can't help but think he will walk in late one night eyes glazed over smiling like an idiot. He'll take his coat off, and stand by the window hoping for snow that rarely falls here.

I miss that idiotic, rebellious, jounin. He could even make me laugh with his dry humor, and sarcasm. I would do anything to bring him back. Despite our differences I liked him. I doubt there was anyone who genuinely hated him.

Even after that Kumo incident there was so many who kept idolizing him. As much as I miss him, he would never be happy alive. That whole incident to me seemed like an excuse.

I just wish that idiot didn't make me promise to not bring his son into ROOT. He would've been perfect there. That and deep down I see his father in him.

Happiness seems to have eluded both of them. If that brat never learned emotions maybe he could've been spared that fate. Maybe myself and the others wouldn't have to worry that our best jounin may one day end up gutted on a tatami mat just like his father.

Although I would've never gotten attached to him if he was emotionless. Oh well, I've written enough. I should probably get back to work.


	2. Chapter 2

Sometimes I feel like I spend to much time trying to work for the village. I guess all shinobi feel this way eventually. I should've spent my younger years starting a family.

In a way I guess I did.

These orphans were about as close as I could possibly get. Especially considering I'm not the fatherly type. Sure a few of my subordinates were closer to me then they should've been, but not many people ever got close enough to be considered special.

That is mainly my own fault. I could've atleast tried to make some form of connection with someone.

Oh well, it's too late now.

Another reason I'm envious of Hiruzen. I doubt anyone would actually mourn my passing. Sure the ROOT members would be a bit lost, but without emotions they would accept my fate.

I should've acknowledged Hiruzen's philosophy, and spent time producing a worthy heir to continue my legacy. Sure a biological heir would be nice, but there is still time for one of the ROOT members to take my place.

There are several that could fill my spot easily.

This is an issue I've struggled with for awhile. I don't know who could fill this position, especially since these kids are easily swayed.

I will admit one thing though, Hiruzen's 'king' philosophy was accurate.


End file.
